


Overwhelmed

by ifonenight



Series: Comfort [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, Coping mechanism, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, hurt!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:10:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3868207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifonenight/pseuds/ifonenight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In. Out. In. Out. He just has to stabilize his breath. He will be alright. He will b-</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overwhelmed

**Author's Note:**

> Not feeling 100% again so here we are with another self-comforting thing. Not beta'd, any mistake is mine. 
> 
> If the style seems a bit stuttering, it’s because I felt that was the best way to write something like this. Anxiety sounds just like that to me; it was intentional. 
> 
> Dean's sensations comes from personal experience, and every technique he uses are used by me as well in real life - they're advice from my psychologist.
> 
> Benny here is his therapist. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

In. Out. In. Out.

 _Take a deep breath_ , Dean hurriedly says to himself. _Take a deep breath and everything will be okay._

Except it isn’t. He’s kind of panting and his legs feels like they were made of jelly and his heart is pounding in his chest and his back hurts when he inhales and his thoughts are so fucking frantic-

No. No, he must breathe deeply and slowly. He must get his shit together and breathe nice and evenly if it kills him.

Well. That’s the exact opposite of what he’s trying to accomplice here but whatever. _Focus on the real problem_ , he thinks, though the voice who says the sentence in his head is not-quite-surprisingly similar to Benny’s. _Your anxiety is just a coping mechanism, it’s covering the real problem. When you have an episode, try and focus on that._

But it’s so fucking hard. It’s Iike he can’t even grasp his most basic thoughts right now, not through this absolute panic, so how the fuck he’s supposed to focalize on anything.

_Shift your attention. Think about comforting things._

Alright, alright, what’s comforting? Sam and Cas. They’re comforting, always there when he needs them. Charlie. Charlie is an awesome girl and friend. She’s good. Cars are good too. Great, in fact. His baby’s one of the greatest thing on earth, he knows her engine to its most little detail. He could probably describe it right now right here.

And so he proceeds to do just that. He lists aloud its components and their characteristics, where they are placed, how they work together, even the smell of the open trunk. It’s good. Cars are good. He loves his baby.

He looks at his right hand and sees that it’s shaking a little less. He could probably do the Vulcan salute now. He tries and manages the on second try which is pretty good. He waves it a little and recalls how Nimoy came up with it. It’s a cool story.

Alright, he’s considerably calmer now. Considerably. It’s probably time to make one of those herbal thing Cas gave him and then read something or go on Netflix. Yeah that’s a good plan. One step after another.

On the kitchen table there is his phone, the display black and unmoving. He eyes it while he warms up the water and waits for it to boil.

He could send a couple of messages. Just to know how his friends are doing. He could do that. It’s not like he would sound needy or whiny. He would just ask what’s up.

He turns off the burner and pours the water in a cup, putting in a small bag full of what he thinks is probably grass. He doesn’t know. He’s still a bit suspicious.

Checking on his friends is a good thing to do. Maybe they need something.

He reaches for the phone and turns it on, typing his password and then clicking on the message icon.

He decides to send the same message to both Cas and Sam, and then goes and takes the herbal bag out, throwing it away.

He’s taking the first slip when his phone chirps.

 

 

 **To** : Cas  
**From** : Dean

_bored. what’s up nerds_

**To** : Dean  
**From** : Cas

_Have you sent this message to Sam, too?  
I’m watching a program on what we can do to avoid a possible bees’ extinction. Very educational, but I really hope we won’t get there. I miss you. What are you doing?_

 

Dean smiles a little at the phone’s display. Cas always says shit like “I miss you” when he’s away, or “I love you” in the most normal moments, and Dean doesn’t always know how to answer but they warm his heart all the same. Cas is careful not to be too cheesy, but then again, it wouldn’t be in his nature, so straightforward in its compliments and love.

Before he can answer, he gets another message.

 

 

 **To** : Sam  
**From** : Dean

_bored. what’s up nerds_

**To** : Dean  
**From** : Sam

_Guess that’s me and Cas. Really Dean, you’re the nerdest one between us._

 

Dean smile widens a little. That’s probably not even a word.

He’s still a little queasy, but he can manage. He knows that later he will be kind of forced to tell them he freaked out - they always manage to guess and he’s promised he wouldn’t lie on this - but he feels okay. He’s calmed down, on his own, and that’s something. That’s good. He’s good. 

He settles on the couch, warm cup in one hand, and phone in the other. The night is good. 


End file.
